if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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