you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
