Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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