i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
