hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
