I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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