I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
