We're facebook friends in real life
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize