he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
