Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
