Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
