what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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