Buhtt sex?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
people are starting to question the shark bite story
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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