whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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