What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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