Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize