Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
