took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
