Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
