Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
