i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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