operation harelip BJ is a go
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
