so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
