I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
