yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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