Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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