He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
