I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
