I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
