we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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