i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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