i barfeds in our rink
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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