I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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