why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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