How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
