i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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