No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
