I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Ketchup is God's man juice
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
