OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize