so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
In other news, I just burned my penis
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
