I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
