I wannas sexs uuuuu
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
