So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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