Don't make out with my wife yet
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
