You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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