I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
