Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Two words: nipple clamps
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