just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
