College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
