I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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