i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
