Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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