Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Randomize
