So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
