how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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