I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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