Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
