You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
