I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
