So drunk its hurt
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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