Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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