Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
