Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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