It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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