Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
