So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize