I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
