why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
