garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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