I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
