it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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