She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
