Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
