yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
