It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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