no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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