I'm jealous of your bromance
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize